Addicted to bloodlust

It all started when I had a dose of EA's "Medal of Honor". I never was a fan of first-person shooter games (FPS). Always wondered why and how can gamers find so much entertainment from these games. I, however, am enlightened now. Recently, I am hooked onto "Call of Duty".



The adrenaline-pumping action and fast pace of the game set my pulse racing. The beauty of this game lies in the need to work as a team-player. Unlike other FPS games where the player single-handedly completes mission after mission, and eventually bringing down the enemy juggernaut, "Call of Duty" requires the player to fight in a squad. You have to provide covering fire for your fellow soldiers and they in turn do the same for you. I guess this makes the game more realistic.

Particularly enjoyed the part where I have to charge at German MG fire to retake the Red Square in Stalingrad. It was very much similar to the part in the movie Enemy at the Gates. Was fantasizing myself as the legendary sniper Vassily Zaitsev as I picked my way through the rubble to spot and shoot German snipers. I just enjoyed slaughtering the enemies. Work-related stress, I guess. This game acts as a perfect pressure vent for me.

Cannot wait to get my hands on "Call of Duty 2". Looking forward to more butchering.

Dread: Going back to office again tomorrow

My two-day intellectual property course drew to a close today. So did my brief two-day respite. Going back to office tomorrow. Really dread going back. Piles and piles of work to be done, hundreds of nominations to be submitted, thousands of deadlines to be met, and millions of emails to be cleared.

Met Rohaya and Li Na today to pass them the National Day goodie bags. Long overdue but was not able to meet up with them till today. Heard from them that Chris is the only ACM left in his office now. Three of his fellow ACMs resigned within short periods of each other, and now he is covering everything! I cannot believe it. His constituency is SM's ward. It really gives people food for thought. What is happening? Such high turnover rate in my organization surely will not be overlooked by the top management?

My part in the Pre-ACWP session on 1 October is slowly gaining in workload and importance as the event draws near. Second last major event of the year. Have finally made it this far. Not sure how long I can go on too.

Has been engaged in the writing of some "subversive" literature recently. The final piece of writing will be out soon. Just need some polishing to the words and some tweaking to the structure of the passage. I hope it can create an impact in my office and help my colleague tide over this rather trying period.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

The Careless, Ignorant and Stupid ought to be exploited

Attended Steven Lam's lecture again today. Intermediate law course on intellectual property. Was interesting, but couldn't for the life of me keep awake. Was guzzling coffee the whole day with no apparent effect. I guess I was too tired from seven bloody days of continuous work.

So many events and grassroots keep giving me trouble. Office also called me. I had enough. Will never answer or call back unless necessary.

Took one more step towards freedom today. Can't wait for the day to break away from the zero-star working environment and zero-star colleagues.

Press the panic button!! CED is coming to my BGM!!

Another week of flurry activity flew by. It all started on Monday when PAYM informed me that my biggest boss, the much revered CED will be attending my YEC BGM tomorrow. Since then, the event planning was effectively taken out of Kit See's and my hands.

My SCM came in, GCM also came in, even DD Pow came in. What a strong line-up. Admin programme for CED was drawn up, location maps of parking lots were drawn, and many tiny details taken care of. Elevators to the venue has to be jammed tomorrow. A respectable looking room for vote counting has to be located. Most importantly, the required minimum turnout of 100 members for the quorum has to be met. Numbers were thrown around like nobody's business. 200, 500 participants. It is encouraging that my organization prides itself on the ability to mobilize large numbers of people in short periods of time. However, I have been to the venue and I feel that the place cannot comfortably accommodate 200 to 500 people. I wonder where the AOS (appreciation of situation) went.

Personally, I am not very worried about CED's presence tomorrow. I mean, he has to be a reasonable man. So long as everything is done correctly, without contradicting or violating the PAYM constitution, it should be all right. High standards must indeed be set to ensure that the event not just runs smoothly, but also be a resounding success. One that future committees can emulate. However, what I am feeling now are that other people's reactions are bordering on paranoia and pandemonium.

Wednesday was worse. It was the beginning of the "War on Dengue" for us. With two hours to spare, a deadline was set for us to confirm the attendance of two representatives from each RC to attend a briefing session on Friday regarding the outbreak on Dengue fever. Another deadline on Friday was set to submit the dates of the house to house visits of the RCs. RCs have to conduct these visits to cover every unit in their respective zones to spread the word about the dangers of dengue fever and educate the residents on preventive measures.

Commendable efforts from the grassroots leaders, I should say. Dengue fever can be fatal, and therefore should not be taken lightly. Another test on the ability to mobilize given the short notices.

Went back office to work after RC meeting on Wednesday. Worked till almost midnight. Could not believe that time passed so quickly. I went crazy after that and actually implemented the idea of joining my cohort mates for a ktv and booze session. Metamorphosed into a zombie the next day and had trouble keeping awake during both my courses.

Got myself a yellow ribbon package today. Placed the tree on my workstation. Will be wearing the yellow ribbon everyday from now onwards.

Message of the day:
Wear a Yellow Ribbon - Help Unlock the Second Prison!

ps. I moved one step closer towards escaping my own prison today!

Angst

Welcome to My Life
-- Simple Plan

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever want to run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

What happens when you meet someone...?

What happens when you meet someone who is only concerned about protecting his or her own ass and not about the welfare of the entire team?

What happens when you meet someone who is more concerned about playing the blame game than solving the problems encountered?

What happens when you meet someone who pushes what he or she has to do to you, and says to you, "I will come after your ass if you do not do it."?

What happens if you meet someone who does not recognize the effort and hard work that you put in, and yet, will not hesitate to pounce on you when you make a mistake, always remember that you made the mistake, and make sure that you will never forget that you made it?

What happens when you meet someone who tells you to share and present the same front together with him or her, to a third person, but in the end destroys the common front to join forces with the third person against you?

Demoralising to meet someone like that, isn't it? You may be wondering, what could possibly be worse? Even more terrifying is....

What happens if all the "someones" that you meet are actually epitomized in one single entity?

Yes, such a person does exist...

Have I sent shivers down your spine yet?

The World Today in History
On Sept. 5, 1972, Palestinian guerrillas attacked the Israeli delegation at the Munich Olympic games; 11 Israelis, five guerrillas and a police officer were killed in the siege.

A beautiful team sport

Sunday is dragonboating day. Below is a well-written description of the ultimate team sport that is dragonboating by a fellow dragonboating enthusiast.

Dragonboating can perhaps be considered as the ultimate team sport. There is no room for egomaniacs or rowers who think that they are superstars. Other competitive sports, such as soccer, basketball or rugby, provide situations where it is common and expected for players to stand out from others, to be praised for a performance even when on a losing team, to be a star.

In the sport of dragonboating, however, such opportunities do not exist. The reason is this: there is no way anyone watching a dragonboat race can tell who the best rower is. Thus rowers have no means of attaining individual glory. In dragonboating, any and all glory is shared equally among all members of the team. Everything is done as a team. We win as one. And we lose as one.

Thus there is no such thing as a perfect rower; there is only a perfect team. No matter how good an individual rower is, if he does not synchronize his stroke with the rest of the team, he becomes a liability. The concerns of the team always come before those of any one rower. Each rower will have to adapt to the system employed by the team, never the other way. The countless hours that we spend rowing together is an attempt to create the perfect team, everyone using the same stroke with precision.

Then comes race day. All the training is done and you are sitting in the boat waiting for the starting horn. When the race starts, when each and every person in the boat pulls with a single stroke, a single timing and a single purpose, the boat is no longer filled by a group of individuals, but by a singular entity, a perfect team.

And at the end, when your lungs scream for air and your arms feel like dead weights, every stroke you pull is no longer for yourself, no longer for glory, no longer to win the race even, but for the person beside you, behind you, in front of you. Each stroke is for those who have spent the months training with you for this one moment. You tell yourself, you will not let them down, you will never give up.

We call each other brothers and through the bonds forged by blood, sweat and tears, we are. One stroke, one heart, one soul. This is what lies at the heart of our team and what allows us to succeed.

Yes to life; No to drugs

Had a fun-filled Saturday morning and afternoon at Macpherson T-Net Club. Responded to a SOS call by my cohort-mates to help out as game umpire. Today's event was aimed at spreading the word on the harmful consequences of drug abuse. Street soccer teams made up of kids and teenagers from all over Singapore came down to take part in a two-day street soccer tournament. At the same time, T-Net Club, National Council Against Drug Abuse (NCADA), and Central Narcotics Bureau (CNB) set up exhibitions and game booths in a bid to educate the youths about the different types of drugs and drug abuse.

Small cards were issued to the youths. After they played in one anti-drug abuse game, they will receive a stamp on their cards. There were a total of five games and after collecting all the stamps, they can use the card to exchange for a goodie bag.

Many of the youths took a lot of the cards so that they can exchange those cards for a lot of goodie bags. My fellow volunteers and I could not help feeling that we are inculcating the wrong values in the youths. That we are somehow encouraging them to be greedy and kiasu. These youths will grow up to be the next generation of uncles and aunties who will be fighting for all the goodie bags during events. I guess our vision of making Singapore into a gracious society has to be put on hold for another generation.

Finally! It's over!

My Teachers' Day Celebration Dinner is finally over! This is the single biggest event I have handled so far and preparations start from as early as March. Last two weeks I was practically a nervous wreck, trying to make sure I did the correct things and followed the proper procedures. In this line, proper procedures are of utmost importance. Even till this evening when I was at the foyer welcoming my CCC guests, I was silently praying very hard that nothing would go wrong.

Fortunately, the night passed rather peacefully, but I guess that was because I was not sitting with my grassroots leaders. I was sitting at the organizing committee table. My SCM was the one who sat with the grassroots leaders. She, however, did not mention to me about any unhappiness from the GRLs. Therefore, I think I am quite safe. I hope I did not incur the wrath of any of the GRLs. They are not easy to placate. Guess I have to wait a few days to see how the feedback come in.

I think my organizing committee teachers are amazing. They are really capable and I am deeply grateful to them for their help and patience. This is my first major event and I admit I am a bit slow in learning how to manage such a grand event. My teachers are really wonderful. Every tiny detail has been taken care of and the whole event was very well thought out. Thank you Haryati, Wendy, Eunice, Sok Khiang, Fun Yen, Haya and Fatimah. Their principal, Mr Teoh is a very reasonable and nice person. I kept thinking to myself, "Wah, what a wonderful team." How I wished I was a teacher at Unity Primary! Alas! I am getting sentimental again. I guess now the best way to repay them will be to process their claims fast and return them the money that they forked out to purchase the prizes. Expedite!!!

What really touched my heart were three simple smses today. First sms was from Pat in the afternoon. He kindly offered to help me for the evening. Next was from Ariel in the evening, asking me how the event was going. Last was from my predecessor, Ben, who told me that he believed that the event would be a success. Three simple messages, but they meant a lot to me. I realised that I was not alone. Many people are willing to help me if I needed assistance. It is really through thick and thin that I know who I can count on and who I can forget about counting on. Ben Yap and Ariel Zhuo, if the two of you are reading this, I just want to say I really appreciate your help and pieces of advice all this while. Thank you!

Welcoming back the prodigal son

Our "half-Jap, half-Sing" brother returned late yesterday night from the land of the rising sun via United Airlines. The welcoming party pathetically consisted of only three people. Incidentally, the three of us are staying in Tampines. When we did not see Hump standing among the crowd around the lugguage belt, we thought we were late. Being friends for years, we knew that he is the kind of person who would simply hail a cab and head for home if he did not see us.

Just as we were craning our necks to get a clear view of the arrival area, Ben suddenly exclaimed, "Over there. That dark guy with the black haversack." I turned and saw Hump. He was carrying the huge black haversack that he always carried and listening to a large set of headphones. No apparent change in him. Still the attention-seeker.

Did not catch up much with him because the return journey was too short. Waiting for him to share his stories with us the next time we meet up. At least for now (until 10 September), our brotherhood has full strength. Hurray! The "si gee na" is back!