Facts of life

* Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
* There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
* Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
* Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.(unless you're in Australia -then start worrying)
* Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
* Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
* A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
* Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
* The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
* There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
* If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for sky diving.
* A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions